Over the past few years, I have been working on my relationship with money. Money has always been a challenge for me and a great point of frustration! I opened up about my own struggles with money in this blog post here. It’s straight from my journal where I share very intimate details about my struggles, beliefs and stories about money.
Since money is a huge part of our lives; we might as well educate ourselves on how to be empowered with money! Here are three ways, you can change your relationship with money coming from my own personal experiences of doing the inner work around money (and continuing to do it).
1. Do not tie your sense of self to it.
As in your value, worth, enoughness, importance. My sense of self was tied to money. The more money I had the better I felt about myself, the less money I had the worse I felt about myself. My bank account determined how I felt about me, especially when it came to my value, worth, enoughness and importance. We all have something that we tie our sense of self to. For some of us, it is money, for some of us it is our job, roles as a mother, daughter, wife, father, husband, physical appearance and body, productivity, success, needing to be validated from others, people liking us (people-pleasing), being the nice one, etc. As long as our sense of self, what I think of myself, comes from what I do, what I have, what I look like, who I am (in the eyes of someone else or for someone else), then we are tied to it. We feel really insecure about ourselves because our sense of self is not coming from us, but from things outside of us, which are so unstable and not truly certain.
Take your power back and ask yourself: what do I need from me to feel good about myself on my own terms? Explore this.
2. Money is a mindset.
If you’re struggling with money, look at your mindset about it. That means your thoughts, beliefs and how you feel about money and how you believe is the way to make it and have it. Is it rooted in lack? Is it rooted in scarcity? Is it rooted in working hard?
When you think of money, what is the first thing that comes to your mind, how do you feel? This will point you to exactly know why you have the relationship you have with money. And as simple as this sounds, because it is, all you have to do is change your mind about money to change your experience of it. To change your mind means to change the thoughts you think about money. Stop thinking thoughts that keep the money away from you like: I am worried about money, I don’t have enough, it’s always such a struggle for me to make or have money, money is hard to make, I am scared to spend my money, I can’t make more money, I can’t afford that, etc. You get the point. All these thoughts are rooted in lack and keep the money away from you. Whereas if you can start to think thoughts that bring the money to you like: money loves me, money wants me, money is always here for me, money is welcome with me, money supports me, money is an easy thing for me, I can make money easily, I am so grateful for the money I have and all that it allows me to do. Not only do these thoughts feel better (doesn’t have to feel believable, just better), but they open your mind up to another perspective. Because there is always another way of looking at something, and in this case money.
Fill this out: I am grateful for money because: _____________.
3. Reframe “I am spending money” to “I am circulating money”.
Spending money implies “I am losing money and I only have so much money to spend until it’s gone.” Spending money never feels good or empowering, and often times it leaves us feeling lacking or limited; whereas, when you say ” I am circulating money” it feels better. I have a made video on this exact reframe, watch it here.
Affirm: I am a circulator of money, and when I circulate money it gives me the opportunity to bless everyone’s life this money will come into contact with.
Your turn, I ask you to contemplate and look at your relationship with money. Are you willing to do what it takes to change your mind about money to then change your experience of money? Remember we experience our reality as feelings and thoughts. Dive in, see what you uncover!
Looking for support in shifting your perception of yourself, letting go of fear and embodying your truest self? Learn more about 1:1 coaching with me, here.