The pesky mean voice that never shuts up!
This about sums up the ego.
The ego, as I like to call it, is the false conditioned self.
Ego = false conditioned self
It is the ‘self’ we have been taught we are through life experiences, education, societal standards and norms, culture, religion, feedback from people, parents, etc.
It’s a ‘self’ that is curated of all the things we have learned about who we should be. Most of us live our lives without any clue of this false identity we’ve adopted, which is not a true reflection of who we really are.
In my work as a transformational life coach, I love supporting my clients in understanding how the ego works and empowering them to change their relationship with it. I guide my clients to unravel and unlearn the identities and voices they’ve taken on and made theirs. It’s a liberating way to come into our truth and power!
The ego is idolatry; the sign of limited and separated self, born in a body, doomed to suffer and to end its life in death. – A Course in Miracles
The many characteristics of the Ego
A Course in Miracles says the Ego is a belief in separation, that you are separate from your Creator. It is this belief in separation which causes all the illusions we have about who we are.
1. The ego believes who we are is just the body and flesh, which makes us feel like we are small, limited and insignificant.
Notice how when we talk about the body we say ‘my body’ as if it is something that belongs to us, not something we actually are. Just like we say ‘my shirt’ because we know the shirt is something we have, not something we are.
To go beyond the ego, we have to go beyond our identity as just being the body. To go bigger and see everything for what it truly is, matter with a vibration, energy and frequency. We are energy at the most fundamental level, and this is why we can measure things like our heartbeat and brainwaves in terms of frequency. A faster heartbeat has faster frequency waves to it, whereas a slower heartbeat has slower frequency waves. If this going on with our heart and brain, our physicality then, what is going on with our emotional state?
Our emotions are also made up of energy, frequency and vibration! That is why when we are in a lower state of vibration, negative thoughts and emotions, we literally are vibrating at a slower pace. The literal manifestation in the body feels like heaviness, contraction and shallow!
2. The ego’s voice is fear based
The thing you need to know about fear is that it is an unpleasant emotion and it always feels bad. A Course in Miracles says that anything that is not love, is fear.
Do not let fear only be defined as afraid or scary. Fear has many forms, and all fear is rooted from a belief in lack. That somehow I am lacking, something is lacking or that lack exists.
The forms of fear include: confusion, unworthiness, undeserving, doubt, stress, frantic, critical, self-loathing, worry, insecurity, not good enough, incomplete, scarcity, imperfect, anxious, striving, expectation, emptiness.
These are all heavy emotions, which can simply be summed up as: they all feel bad.
Remember anything that is of the ego always feels bad. The ego is a liar and no matter what, lies feel bad. If you believe what the ego says, you will always feel bad.
Learning to tune into our emotions is the way we can navigate the ego. This is what we have power over! We can decide if want to listen to the ego, which always feels bad.
The two ways to sum up every emotion: feels good or feels bad.
We can use our emotions as a guide, a compass of sort to navigate back to what is true for us.
Know that what is true for you always feels good. This is how we can differentiate between the truth and lies.
A Course in Miracles says the ego is a belief in separation. What has worked for me is to actually separate myself as being the ego. Personify it, give it a name, characteristics, personality, self-talk. Essentially bring it to life so it just doesn’t live in our mind going unnoticed. We make it conscious by bringing it to life by giving it physicality.
I’ve named my ego, Dukhi. In Hindi Dukhi means miserable, and I know exactly the way she talks and what her personality is like! By knowing this I am no longer identified as her, but aware of her! Which makes all the difference anytime I am vibrating at lower frequencies, because I immediately know when I am vibrating at lower frequencies I am experiencing myself and life as her. The ego only feels bad, and anytime ‘I feel bad’ I’ve become Dukhi!
This is why bringing awareness to how we’re feeling is the greatest and most life-changing skill we can learn!
Our emotions are always indicators of our alignment to our Truth/Soul.
Feeling bad, listening and thinking you’re the ego, out of alignment with your Truth. Feeling good, tapped into a higher version of you, in alignment with your Truth.
Learn to use your emotional guidance as a tool to navigate the ego and let it show you where you are in relationship to yourself by the way you feel.
This is a practice and takes deliberate attention, but completely doable! You will start to feel free, lighter and empowered!
Give it a go!
You can also listen to this blog post!
If you would like support on your journey as you come into greater harmony with your highest version, I would love to support you. Please book a session with me here.