I recently made some big life altering decisions, I shared the personal details with my newsletter community. To receive my personal stories & learnings, guidance plus tips you can sign up for my newsletter here.
Anyway, the question I got asked how do know you if you’re running away from something? I feel that is such a great question, so let’s dive in!
Get clear on how you are feeling
When I was in the midst trying to understand what it is that I wanted to do, I had a lot of confusion. I wanted to make the right decision, and I didn’t want to just make a decision from a place of impulse or being fed-up. So I sat with how I was feeling for a while by prompting myself with the question what do I really want?
Often times we think we ‘should’ do something or stay in a situation and relationship because of all the opinions and expectations we have heard from others. We try to find justifications, reasons or excuses why we should do something or why we shouldn’t. This is right here is the big red flag! If you’re trying to justify or reason with yourself in regards to a decision you want to make then, your only convincing yourself out what you already know deep down is true for you.
Therefore, getting very clear on how you are feeling about the situation or thing you need to make a decision is so important because tuning into our feelings gets us out of our head, which only wants to reason, think of pro’s/con’s, analyze, etc Then, from tuning into our feelings and giving it a voice we can become aware of how we feel about the situation or thing we need to make a decision on rather than what we think about it.
Once you’ve gotten clear on how you feel then, ask yourself what do I really want? If I put everything aside, what is it that I really want? Listen for an answer. The answer will feel light, expansive, peaceful yet it may not make sense to the mind which works on logic, pragmatism, analysis and outcomes.
Trust your answer and lean into it. Say to yourself I want to know more! What is trying to emerge through me right now if I choose what I really want?
Listen. Feel into it. Don’t try to make it right or wrong, good or bad. Let it be what it is without trying to make sense of it.
Once you know how you are feeling and what you really want, it’s time to make the decision! No matter how scary or uncomfortable it feels. You are doing this for you. For your growth, for your forward movement, for self honoring. By making this decision you are allowing what is trying to emerge through you, out.
A decision that is running towards something is love-based, as in it is feels good. Again, feels like forward movement. Whereas a decision that is running away from something is fear-based, as in it is trying to escape from something because you don’t want to actually deal with it. It’s easier to just to get out of the situation then, to talk about how you really feel with someone like a boss, partner or friend. It’s easier to blame someone else for your problem or issue. It’s easier to make the person or situation wrong. But what we are really doing is being a victim and not taking responsibility for the part we played in it. So running away is the way we cope with it.
However, if you know you’ve given something the attention it needs by being honest, transparent and real about it with yourself and with anyone that maybe involved, and you still feel like this is not what I want. Now your decision can be made not because of something, but for something that is in alignment with you.